What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
