i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
