So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
