Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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