what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
two words: eviction party
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
