how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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