the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Randomize
