...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
