Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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