Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
