ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize