super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
His nipple licking is glorious
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