The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
