Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
