I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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