I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
