we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
