but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
