now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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