ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Boobs speak an international language.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
