sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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