I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
