i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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