Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize