Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
