Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
