belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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