Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
