Well apparently he's into motor boating.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
