So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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