Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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