Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
