He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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