I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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