I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
