so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
