you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
