in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
