i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Couch. On fire.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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