Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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