I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
