He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
