i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
