You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
two words...techno handjob
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
