his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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