we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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