Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
