they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
