Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
