I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
