Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
two words: eviction party
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
