Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize