dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
