Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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