i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
