please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
