You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
