i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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