are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
