Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i dont even know how to be here
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
