i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
