also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
