I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
