you would pick up someone in the library
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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