It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
