I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
