You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
